The best "decisions" you've never made ?

One of the big rebuttals I hear about choosing to be childfree is from people who were at least nominally childfree and who wind up parenting somewhere down the line. It usually goes something like "I totally used to feel the same way, I never wanted kids! But then I had little Btrendhinaymme and I can't picture my life without her. She's the best thing that ever happened to me." The point being that if *I* were to somehow wind up with my own baby Btrendhinaymme, it would be the best thing to ever happen to me as well, so I should change my mind and have a kid instead of trusting my judgment. (By the way, the "B" is silent, as is the second "m," and the name is pronounced "Trend-hi-nah-MAY." But that should have been obvious, right?)

Look, my problem isn't that these parents are happy. It's better they're happy than miserable, at the very least for the children's sakes. My problem is their logic, which suggests that if you find yourself in the opposite situation than what you wanted, it'll work out because your original desires were wrong from the start, and it works that way for everyone in a similar position. And that's just crap.

Sure, maybe it worked out for them, but what if it hadn't? How many people have kids unintentionally or against their desires, only to have things turn out poorly? What the hell kind of risk is that, if not for the person than for the kid?

This is akin to them getting fired from a job they love, taking up jobs they explicitly didn't want, and finding out they can't picture doing anything else. Just because getting the axe made their lives better doesn't mean that I should quit the job I love. It also means it's not wise for them to advocate that people who love their jobs should up and quit and follow their path into Bizzaro World. I imagine that a lot of people who get fired and get stuck working at a job they never wanted are pretty unhappy with the turn of events. Of course, in our society, you can complain out loud about why your job sucks. Not exactly the same with parenthood. That could be playing into this as well.

Maybe these people were never really childfree to begin with. Maybe their spouses convinced them into becoming parents, or tricked them into it. Maybe they felt like the odd ones out when all of their friends were having kids. Or maybe they got hit in the head with rocks, and it scrambled their brains. Either way, despite their earlier feelings, they had kids, and they're happy. Good for them! But they shouldn't expect the rest of us to change our minds based on their experiences. If we follow their advice and they're wrong, they're not the ones who suffer, we are... along with our theoretical kids.

An anecdote is not a guarantee.