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Things need a starting point. The whole concept of "childfreedom" deserves one.

When you factor out all of the differences between the meek childfree and the militant ones, the ones who love children and the ones who don't want to be within 50 yards of a child, the political, economic, and social issues, you basically get one thing:

Choosing not to parent is a legitimate choice.

That's the building block for everything. It seems pretty simple, and I suppose most people, childfree or not, would at least nominally agree with that statement. (And most of those who don't are probably disagreeing based on a religious view, or at least a socially conservative one, and honestly, barring the voice of God speaking to them directly saying "Give the cf'ers a break," there's nothing I'm going to write that'll change your perspective. And from what I can tell, *that* might not even work.)

Maybe a decent chunk of people would agree with that statement in theory, like it's ok if some generic person chose to be childfree, but it would be different if it was their kid, or possibly their close friend. It's akin to some people's views on interracial or interfaith marriage was some years ago. And probably still a few people's view today.

At heart, that's what childfree people want... to not be given crap for choosing not to have children. (Some will suggest that many childfree aren't making as much of a "choice" as they are following their instinct, that not wanting to parent is hard-wired into them from the start. And there is logic to that, but that's for another day.)

Medical technology has given us the power to control our fertility. With that power comes the responsibility to make determined, deliberate choices about if or when we have children. Society hasn't fully caught up to that fact, though, and in some ways, that puts the childfree on the leading edge. That's not always a comfortable place to be.

People who are legitimately childfree (not childless, not fencesitters) make a very conscious effort to prevent themselves from becoming parents. Some take hormonal birth control, some (like myself) are sterilized, some remain abstinent (the more asexual of the group, in particular). Homosexuals who discuss parenting with their partner and choose not to adopt, or get artificially inseminated, etc., are making the choice as well.

In a pronatalist society, I don't think you can choose to be childfree without giving it a great deal of thought. You can't get drunk one night and wake up with bag of frozen peas on your crotch and discover you had a vasectomy. You can't accidentally take a birth control pill every day, or intend to conceive and in the heat of the moment put on an unbreakable condom every time.

They've had the near-mandate of the "joys" of parenthood and babies thrust at them probably since infancy. Make no mistake: they've gone through the ramifications, they've weighed the options, and they clearly came out on one side. For some, it was a real choice, and for others, it was a foregone conclusion. But either way, they know what's best for their lives.

Society as a whole needs to take a deep breath and look at the childfree phenomenon from a systemic perspective. The desire not to procreate isn't new... the ability to control one's fertility, and prevent procreation altogether is new. There are many parents in the past who would have chosen not to have kids, but had no recourse. Now, there's an option.

With the advent of reliable contraception, parenthood is now a choice. If you strip down every "But what about [x issue]?" in regards to childfreedom, be it passing on the family name, "getting closer to your spouse", etc., you're still left with a person who doesn't want to have kids. In the end, shouldn't that be enough of a reason for that person to be childfree? Do you really want that person have a kid against their will? Would that be best for the child? In the end, the conclusion is pretty simple:

Choosing not to parent is a legitimate choice.

Society needs to accept this fact. It's not going to change, and it's not going away simply by ignoring or denying it.

And frankly, neither are we.